As we left a shadow of the National Gallery building, we saw a crowd focused on the large elevated screen. When we entered the square, suddenly everyone around us kneeled. Paradoxically, it felt strange but somehow familiar, ringing old bells of a long forgotten past. As an observer I resisted a conformist call to join the people and bend my knees. We carried on, getting deeper into the increasingly white and red abyss of mourners.

Last Sunday, around three thousand members of Polish community in London gathered by a swiftly erected media altar on which they followed the last way of tragically died President Kaczynski and his wife Maria, transmitted by TV Polonia. In a midst of national dispute the presidential couple was buried in Wawel Castle in Krakow among kings and heroes. The ceremony was full of symbolism, pathos and awkward elements I could not comprehend (e.g. coffins being towed on the pieces of artillery by military police Hammers).

My first reaction on the news of the crash was a disbelief, which given the extent of the tragedy seemed natural. Astonished, I have turned into a silent witness watching how a small stream of news on the bottom of the screen turns into the rapid, wild river of special reports, breaking news, and live interviews. Since Saturday, I was trying to write something clear, transparent and most of all accurate. I asked myself what has really happened and what to expect in a near future? I couldn’t get an answer. I was paralysed, but not by grief or sorrow, but by a deep, multilevel confusion.

First source of this disarray was in media, both national and international. I was expecting that polish broadcasts will be totally dominated by the tragic death of so many prominent personas, but not to the extent where the outside World ceases to exist. Somehow this fixation on national martyrdom seemed familiar and partly echoed the death of Pope five years ago. It would be against our nature to miss the opportunity to focus on ourselves, and ourselves only.

The international media moved a step further. In my entire life, I have not seen so many experts, inaccurately pronouncing so many semi truths and stereotypes. On Saturday afternoon, I found out that Poland is a devout catholic country (CNN), and soon after that President Kaczynski has brought back a sense of integrity [you know] and sense of dignity to polish politics (interview with President Saakashvilli on BBC). A bit later it has been announced that in crash perished not only President and his wife but also an entire generation of polish political elite. Next to come, I was expecting the information about widespread chaos in a country, but I think that someone has realised that this entire storm is going a little too far. On Sunday British newspapers were auguring the inevitable rise of the conspiracy theories (Observer, Sunday Telegraph) and American stations were interviewing ordinary people crying on the streets of Warsaw. Despite the fact, that pronunciation of polish names on TV has improved, I was still confused.

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The second origin of my strange confusedness was the people. I remember Kaczynski brothers very well; in fact, I had a pleasure to write a dissertation about their generation taking power from communists in the early 90’s. Both Lech (RIP) and his brother Jaroslaw played a meaningful (but not always constructive) role in polish politics. Short before his death President had a support of roughly a quarter of a nation. After he tragically died, he became a hero, a symbol waking up old myths and bringing people together to light a candle or leave the flowers on Krakowskie Przedmiescie in Warsaw. Touched commentators were eagerly forecasting a quality change in polish society, an eradication of the culture of a squabble and a rise of new national unity. Getting more and more confused, I couldn’t believe it.

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It is not far from truth statement that Poles are unique, and for years I was convinced that I have a rare comprehension of all these distinctive qualities. The recent behaviour of my fellow nationals nearly brought me to a conclusion that I have lost a touch, and I should stop writing and talking about Poland (shut up). I thought: this is it, years of emigration and prosaic adult life finally stripped me of my sense of ‘Polishness’. Hanged in the vacuum, naked and without identity I was saved by a decision of Archbishop Dziwisz to bury Presidential Couple in Wawel Cathedral in Krakow.

Soon after the announcement, people pressed the pause button in mourning and started to argue and protest as they used to, and as they should do in accord to their national predisposition. In no time a row has flooded the public debate and today after listening to polish radio and reading newspaper articles I have my identity back. I can think clearly and I will not (shut up) stop writing.

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Among others, the plane carried the presidential couple, Chief of Staff of the Army, Governor of National Bank, Human Rights Ombudsman, and Chief of the National Security Bureau, members of Parliament, high ranked military commanders, historians, and other senior officials and Catholic Church dignitaries. All of 97 crew and passengers had perished in terrible crash, which shocked the nation and the world.

The televisions and internet sites all around the Planet are reporting this tragic event unprecedented in history, sad and staggering for the families and entire nation unified in mourning.

The Katyn massacre was a tragedy and given the Russian version of history Mr Putin’s gesture should be appreciated, but not misread. For many, revealing the truth about the murder and legally qualifying it as genocide, admitting guilt, apologising and compensating it to the families of victims is the only true step towards reconciliation and closing this long lasting wound between the two nations. None of these has happened last Wednesday. Claiming that it is major step towards reconciliation between two nations is a mistake. In my opinion, the history in relations between Poland and Russia plays and will play a pivotal role for at least next two decades. Given the current and factual approach and attitude of Russian officials and administration towards revealing truth about Katyn and other mass grave locations, the influence of the historical factors on the temperature of the relationship of the two nations will be negative. It will at least slow down or in another way affect many processes of cooperation, including the economic ones. We have to remember that Stalin’s murders of 1940 are not the only thorn in Polish collective memory. Another major obstacle, vastly ignored by a foreign press in interpretation of the recent event in Katyn, is the difference in how both nations see and teach history of 20th Century. Expectedly, Russian propaganda machine has a tendency to create more bias. However, some Polish historians are not without guilt putting eagerness and national sentiments in front of scientific objectiveness. In consequence, not only the elites but the ordinary citizens of these countries put historical disagreements as an important factor affecting constructive cooperation.

If the observance of the Katyn massacre anniversary is to have any significance in process of warming relations between Moscow and Warsaw, it should not be seen as point of the already started process but rather as a gateway to it. If both sides will not show the high standards of statesmanship and rationality I am afraid the Polish-Russian future will stay there for a long time walking in and out.

Despite the disappointing turnout, the obvious benefit of the presidential primaries in Civic Platform has been a dramatic shift of focus in public life. This unprecedented exercise executed two months before the official campaign starts had dominated the national news and without a doubt attention of ordinary Poles, who as pointed by, now presidential candidate, Mr Komorowski, have believed that this is a choice of their new President.
Both candidates have not avoided blunt comments and regardless clear party instruction not to attack the opponent, few stinging messages went on air. Luckily, for the Civic Platform, it has not been received by general public as usual and low political squabble but rather as a spicy duel of two gentlemen.

Well done Civic Platform, but be vigilant. Being a dominant political organisation poses a risk of backlash from moody polish voters, who has a historical aversion to being dominated.

In Ukraine, during his last days in office the President Victor Yushchenko (who Poland endorsed during the ‘Orange Revolution’) has ‘paid back’ his debt of support by rehabilitating one of the controversial WWII figures, and naming him a national hero. Stepan Bandera might be seen as a hero for some Ukrainians, but he is also considered as a cold blood murderer of innocent civilians in Galicia and Wolyn, as well as the ultra nationalist sympathising with Nazis. Yushchenko’s act aiming at getting support from far right movements in Ukraine has been widely condemned by Jewish community, Russian speaking Ukrainians and Polish State.

Meddling with history in the Eastern Europe is not a good idea, and it usually leads to the reopening of old wounds. The former President’s mischief only adds up to the recent election’s results, which by no means can be considered desirable for Poland. It is hard to imagine that newly elected Victor Yanukovych has forgotten how he was demonised by the Polish media and politicians just five years ago.

The above challenges can constitute to a stress test for Polish diplomacy. The thoughtful approach to these matters seems to be the right course of action for the administration, which at this point seems to be confused…or are they just being shy?

All this, sets Poland as a liberal success story in Eastern Europe, the very same region of Latvia, Lithuania and Ukraine, devastated by the economic downturn. It also contributes to the image of Poland as a great country to invest money and transfer technology and knowhow. Foreign investors should take advantage of Poland’s assets such as highly skilled and still cheap in European standards workforce, stable and growing economy, well managed financial system and neo-liberal government susceptible to innovation. On the other hand, one should remember that with its 36 million citizens Poland is still struggling with systemic problems. Approximately 4 million live below poverty line, teachers, police, healthcare workers and other on government payroll are underpaid and possibly demoralised, corruption is rife, bureaucracy discourages business and still 2 million Poles choose to live and work abroad rather than in the homeland.

With responsible government and charming President, growing economy and reforms under way Poland has a chance to become a target country of foreign investment. The key to success lies in good governance, innovation and hard work.

Having said all that, it becomes easier to forget the dark side of the Balcerowicz shock therapy. It is a national phenomenon this forgetfulness about poor, excluded, ill and hungry. The extent of poverty in Poland is outrageous. Personally, I don’t understand how this government can maintain contingents of troops on foreign missions and with clear conscience wish all citizens Merry Christmas. It can be safely estimated that 15% of more than 36 million people live below the poverty line, and still in a recent pool on the Polityka.pl portal nearly 70% people supported the claim that the Balcerowicz plan has made life of the ordinary Pole better and decent. The liberal economic though seems to triumph under polish roofs.

On this occasion, I would like to wish Merry Christmas to everyone who has been forgotten in the whirlwind of liberal reforms in Poland. I wish you that one day someone will see misery of your lives and change Poland into the country taking care of all its citizens – not only successful ones.